Hi I’m Catherine and I’m a people pleaser. You could also interpenetrate that as code for lick arse but read this first and see what I have to say.
I’ve always been this way. I like making people happy. Since I was young I’ve hated doing anything that would upset someone or make them slightly unhappy with me. And if I say something to hurt someone (because sometimes I’m stupid and my filter doesn’t work) I beat myself up and all the hurt I’ve inflicted on them I feel too ( I guess that also makes me empathetic).
I was was that annoying kid in school who agreed with everything you said. Oh you like that song? I do too! I never noticed it till someone pointed it out to me and like most habits, you don’t recognise you have them until someone makes you aware of it. I’m grateful for this person doing this even though at the time it made me acutely self aware of myself. Though this self awareness helped me more conscious that I should form my own opinions on things, I was still a huge people pleaser.
Always being ready to please people caused me to agree easily and not tread on people’s toes. I just wanted to be liked. As you get older you realise you’re not going to make everyone happy. I’m not going to say that I still don’t strive to make others happy, but I’ve gotten better at not making it my priority.
I’ve also gotten a lot better at not always agreeing with others. If anything I enjoy when people have different opinions to me, because it opens up the opportunity of a having a discussion. This can make for extremely interesting conversations.
I think it all comes down to finding the balance of makes others happy but not allowing your own thoughts and feelings to be jeopardised.
Do you struggle with feeling the need to please people?