Why I hate camping

Welcome back to my blog!

Today I’m going to tell you why I hate camping.

As it’s now summer,  I won’t see my college friends as much as I did during the year, in an effort to all stay in touch we were debating what adventure we could get up together during the three months. Lauren (or was it Natalie?) suggested camping. This was met with a prompt hysteria of ‘NO’ from myself and David  (https://laylahtalks.com/)

I’m not sure what was his reason behind turning down the idea of camping, but personally I hate it.

It sounds like a nice idea. Roasting marshmallows by the fire, sitting on logs wrapped up in big blankets, talking till the late hours. Then conveniently someone will pull out a guitar and play a rendition of Wonderwall, while you all will eventually lie down and gaze at the stars and drift away into a deep sleep to the sounds of crickets and nature. Now let me tell you what camping is really like, from my one experience.

I was sixteen and I was in France as part as an exchange programme. The French girl from the family I was staying with was planning on going camping with all her French friends, and she kindly invited me along. I was finding the exchange hard. When I first meet people I’m usually quieter than my normal self, but I found this experience ten times more difficult because my French wasn’t the best and communicating with others became a real struggle of awkward hand gestures and broken French. It got to the point where I became extremely introverted which is unusual for me.

Her house was on a farm so tents and a camp fire was set up in one of the fields in the back of her house. Hay bales lined the field and when her friends arrived they all began jumping from one hay bale to the other. Sounds fun? Not when you’re me and you have the movement and coordination of a clumsy penguin. By the time I managed (with much struggling) to pull myself on top of the hay bale, everyone had given up on that game. I also then remembered that I have a fear of heights, so I began the struggle once more of trying to get myself down off the hay bale.

Next was the camp-fire. We began playing this game called Les Loupes (I’m pretty sure it was called that anyway). As I mentioned before my French wasn’t the best, and though I insisted that I didn’t have to take part in the game, they wouldn’t hear of it. I didn’t 100% understand the rules and I became that person who didn’t know how to play properly and ended up ruining the entire game for everyone… oh the joys!

Also as we’re on the subject of camp fires. How can they be considered to be enjoyable? The wind was strong that night and I spent the entire time with smoke billowing in my face, it was like an extreme experience of being at the smoking area of a nightclub but worse.

Finally onto the actual concept of sleeping. After finally everyone accepting the fact that it was time to sleep, though I thought it was long overdue, we all departed into our designated tents. Now this part of the story is my own fault. I never slept in a sleeping bag before and it was extremely late and after much delusional confusion, I lay the sleeping bag over me as if it was a duvet. I now realise my own foolishness… it’s called sleeping IN a sleeping bag because you sleep IN it *an eternity of face palms*

I woke up a few hours later freezing, thinking my toes were going to fall off from the cold. After eventually falling back to sleep I woke up much later on, midday in a sweltering tent. At that point I just wanted  my bed. But no siree, somehow a plan was formed by everyone to go down to the river, since I didn’t understand what was being said, I started trekking with everyone through fields wondering why I wasn’t in bed asleep. I also get really bad hay fever (surprise surprise) so by the time we got to the river, my eyes were streaming. I didn’t know how to say hayfever in French, so I tried to distance myself from the group so they wouldn’t see the mess I had become. When the French ones started jumping in the river for a swim I finally realised why we were there. I can’t swim (I’ll give you a minute to get over the shock) and at this point the whole camping ordeal seemed like one cruel joke after another. With that I turned to the nearest person next to me, and gave my excuses (“moi…aller… le chateua, oui”)

I headed back to the house, swallowed a packet of hay fever tablets, and collapsed into bed.

My conclusion of the whole experience is that I am just not humanly adapt to camping. My intention is to never go camping again (unless it involves luxury tents with heated beds and a controlled fire.) But I’m sure I’m not the only one that hates camping right?

If you want to make me feel better, let me know in the comments if you hate camping just as much as me!

Or if you think you can convince me that camping is actually great fun, try and convince me (good luck).

 

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